Car Seat Carrying Tip
Do you have a baby in a car seat? Would you like to know a way to carry them without hurting your back, shoulder or hips? Watch the video to see how! Let us know if you have any questions! I wanted to share that due to so many different makes and models of car seats, it is likely that this method won't work for all seats. This was merely an attempt to pass along a creative idea that was shared and works incredibly well for the majority of those who attempt it. I suggest being cleared by your medical professional prior to trying any new regimen if you would like to ensure you are fit to perform actions like the one shown here. We also wanted to share that while car seats are the ideal choice for safety while riding in a car they aren't the top choice for a baby if you're able to hold them or baby-wear instead. There are several resources online if you need suggestions or demonstrations on the proper way to baby-wear. Thank you so much for all of your support! I'm so glad to be able to share this message and provide benefit to so many of you!
Help! My Spouse and I Are Not On the Same Page
Posted on July 28, 2017 by Amanda Bagwell https://consciousdiscipline.com
“I am trying to apply the principles I have learned from Conscious Discipline to my parenting practices and impart the same tools to my children. The problem is that my spouse disagrees with me and thinks that more harsh and authoritarian tactics are the correct tools of discipline. What do I do?”
BREATHE. As with all parenting frustrations, the first step is always to breathe. The skill of composure helps us to turn off the negative responses to our situations and refocus our energy in a positive direction. Before addressing any stressful issue with your spouse, take a moment to breathe deeply and calm yourself.
TIME IT RIGHT. Be cautious to not speak your mind about your spouse’s discipline tools in the heat of a discipline moment or in front of your children. Wait until after the moment has passed and the children are elsewhere…even if your spouse is doing something you completely disagree with. If you do it in the moment or in front of the kids (1) it will likely fuel an angry response from your spouse and diminish the chances that they will ever see things from your point of view and (2) it will demonstrate to your children that their parents are not on the same page and they will learn how to manipulate the situation. They will also learn to favor one parent and not the other. It damages relationships all around and won’t turn out well. For now, let your spouse do it his/her way and you do it yours.
OPEN DIALOGUE. In a time of “calm” (remember…not directly after a discipline moment) let your spouse know that you would like to talk about some things you’ve learned. You might say, “Hey, I’m learning about a different way to handle __________” and I’d like to share it with you. Would now be a good time to talk about it?” If “now” isn’t a good time, pick a time that you both agree on and come back to the conversation then.
STAY POSITIVE. When you talk to your spouse about discipline, avoid blaming statements or other statements that may cause them to put up their defenses. You want to keep the conversation positive and encouraging so that everyone stays in the higher centers of their brain. The last thing you need to do is say something that causes a brain-stem or emotional response to you because then you’ve lost the battle before you’ve begun. Actually, try not to even think of it as a “battle.” Think of it as a journey. On your journey, you will each learn and try new things and you can offer that newly acquired wisdom to your partner, just as they can off theirs to you. In your conversations, you can say things like, “I’ve been using ____XZY Tool___ with the kids and it seems to really be working. I think it could really work to help strengthen them and our family if we handle these behaviors this way. What do you think?” Open up the dialogue in a non-threatening way, in a moment of little to no stress. Allow them to respond…even disagree…and hear their reasoning. Always point your conversation to positive discipline, building relationships and tie it back to the BrainSmart principles of Conscious Discipline.
REMAIN PATIENT. Remember that your spouse is simply speaking his or her first language of discipline, just as you did before you learned a different way. Attribute positive intent and see their discipline tactics as a lack of skills, rather than a threat to your preferred method of parenting. Accept the moment as it is. Instead of stressing on the fact that your spouse is using tools that you don’t like or agree with, shift your focus to what you can control, and that is you. Continue adding new tools as conscious responses to behavior and keep the conversation open with your spouse. Don’t expect change to occur overnight. Over time, the more consistent and supportive you are of them learning a new way, the more you will see their old tools die off as they are no longer needed. As always, I wish you well!
How do I handle my toddler’s temper tantrums? (consciousdiscipline.com)
The core skill that will help you through a temper tantrum is keeping your cool. Your upset will only fuel your child’s fire. Instead, use active calming techniques such as deep breathing to help manage these difficult, but developmentally normal fits.
As in any conflict situation, focus on what you want your child to do, model this behavior or state yourself, and notice any hint of success. In terms of tantrums, the behavior or state of being that you want from your child is “calm.” Your job is to focus on “calm” and model calmness yourself. This may sound particularly difficult in the face of a screaming 3-year-old, but can we really expect a 3-year-old to keep his cool if we can’t stay cool ourselves? Here’s an example:
Your toddler wants a bag of candy he’s spied in the grocery aisle. You say, “No.” He crashes to the floor, screaming. You’re feeling angry, embarrassed, exhausted and at your wits end. You feel like everyone’s looking at you.
First, take three deep breaths to help calm the stress response in your body. Then, discipline yourself with the affirmation “I’m safe. Keep breathing. I can handle this.” Way to go! You’ve just set the internal foundation needed to teach your child how to handle frustration and become calm! Now you can address your upset child.
Be encouraging. Get down at eye level with him and say, “You can handle this. Breathe with me. You’re safe.” Scoop him up, hold him in your arms and breathe deeply with him. When his body relaxes a little, say, “There you go, you’re calming down.” Then tell him he has a choice, “You can sit in the cart and hold the list, or you can sit in the cart and hold your truck.” Once he makes his choice, celebrate your success together, “You did it! You calmed yourself down and that’s hard to do.”
My book, Easy To Love, Difficult To Discipline, contains detailed information for wiring children’s brains for greater self-control (fewer tantrums in the first place) and helping children calm down so they can move through an existing tantrum more quickly.